


Playing For A Different Team

by nymeriahale



Series: Love Apparent [1]
Category: British Comedy RPF, Would I Lie To You? RPF
Genre: Coming Out, Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-17
Updated: 2013-07-17
Packaged: 2017-12-20 11:52:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/886946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nymeriahale/pseuds/nymeriahale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Jason Manford refuses to go on Lee's team for an episode of Would I Lie To You?, Claudia Winkleman is determined to find out why. The answer puts David in quite a state.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Playing For A Different Team

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for discussed homophobia, though no included characters are homophobic and no slurs are used. 
> 
> I don't in any way think that Jason Manford is homophobic, and this is not meant to be criticism of him. I used him because I wanted to reference an actual episode from S3 with women I thought I could write. This is in no way intended to comment on his real life views, nor my views of him.

“So, what’s the deal between you and Jason?” Claudia asked eagerly the instant Lee sat down. “Why did he refuse to be on your team? What did you do? What did _he_ do?”

“Well if you’d be quiet for half a second I’d tell you!” Lee feigned exasperation, taking a slow sip of his pint before replying. “He’s a homophobic little shit,” he finally informed them.

“ _Is_ he?” Claudia breathed, acting scandalised. “I never liked him much anyway,” she confessed.

“Oh, but I did,” Miranda exclaimed. “I thought he was really funny, but now I’ve got to hate him.”

“You don’t have to,” Rob pointed out. “No one is now actively making you hate him.”

“He is,” Miranda replied glumly.

“So what actually happened?” David questioned, ignoring the others as he realised that Lee had never really answered the question. “You said he’s a shit, and that’s clearly true, but what actually made him refuse to be on your team?”

“He found out that I’m gay,” Lee replied casually, as if it wouldn’t send David’s world spinning. “He didn’t want a gay team captain, it might be catching,” he shuddered mockingly.

“What a cock,” Rob said passionately, as David blinked at Lee in surprise. Lee was gay? David’s latest and most persistent straight-man crush was actually gay? He didn’t quite know what to make of it. “We’ll have him vetoed as a guest,” Rob went on. “I’m not promoting homophobic twats on my show.”

“ _Your_ show?” Lee asked incredulously. “Remind me, just how long have you been hosting?”

“Half a series,” Rob told him.

“And how long have David and I been team captains?” 

“…For three series,” Rob was forced to admitted.

“So who’s show is it again?” Lee finished.

“Mine, because I’m the host,” Rob insisted. “But anyway, even if it _were_ your show - which it's not - you can’t possibly want him on again, and I’m sure David doesn’t either.”

“What?” David asked, yanked from his thoughts. “Oh, no, absolutely not,” he replied. “I’m with Claudia, I never liked him anyway. Too Northern,” he explained, quirking a grin at Lee.

“Oh, I see how it is!” Lee laughed. “Never mind his homophobia, you’re just taking the excuse to keep us Northerners off the show.”

“Well, what can I say,” David smirked, but before he could carry on, Claudia interrupted. 

“Wait, wait, wait, did I miss something here?” she demanded, “Are we all just not reacting to Lee coming out? Or did everyone else already know?”

“I already knew,” Miranda shrugged.

“I didn’t,” Rob told her, and David simply shook his head when Claudia turned to him.

“And neither of you felt the need to react in some way to this news?” Claudia demanded.

“How would you like us to have reacted?” David asked, while inwardly incredulous of the idea that he had somehow managed to look as if the news did not affect him at all. “Lee didn’t announce it like big news, so I’m not going to treat it like big news,” he shrugged. “I’m glad Lee didn’t think that any of us might be homophobes like Jason, but really I’m more perturbed by the news that he takes bubblebaths.”

“You were really shocked by that, weren’t you?” Lee asked as Claudia resigned herself to being the only one who cared about this potential gossip.

“I really was,” David said earnestly, eager to move on from how they had all reacted to Lee’s news. “It just doesn’t fit in with my image of you at all.”

“What, it doesn’t fit in with your image of my bathing habits? Are you saying you’ve pictured me in the bath before?” Lee questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Maybe,” David replied before he could talk himself out of it.

“No,” Claudia called immediately. “No, I’m not having two people come out in one evening, it makes for too much gossip. You’ll have to save it for next time I’m on the show,” she informed him. David smiled tightly as the others laughed, unaware of Lee’s eyes on him.

For the rest of the evening, David found himself unable to focus fully on the conversation. There was a possibility, however small, that Lee could actually be interested in him, and David couldn’t stop thinking about it. He had become so used to talking himself out of any more-than-platonic thoughts about Lee with the reminder that as far as he knew Lee was straight, and David just didn’t know what to do without that crutch. Really, David knew that the likelihood Lee was interested in him had only changed in his eyes, and even then had only gone from ‘impossible’ to ‘highly unlikely’, but he couldn’t stop thinking about asking Lee out. What was the worst that could happen, after all? He might lose Lee’s friendship? They were hardly close. _But it might affect your focus on the show, just like it is right now_ , he told himself sternly, focusing back in on the analysis of the episode Rob and Lee had begun once Miranda and Claudia had left.

“Oh, Christ, I’ve got to be off,” Rob said just as David tuned in, glancing at his watch. “I’ve got a meal with the wife in an hour, and she does like me to be smartly dressed.”

“That’s alright, Rob, we don’t need you here for the discussion of _our_ show,” Lee teased good naturedly.

“I’ll see you at the next filming, David,” Rob said, pointedly turning away from Lee. “Take care until then.”

“And you,” David replied, amusement clear in his tone.

“Lee,” Rob nodded briskly, before turning on heel and stalking out.

“Honestly, his show,” Lee shook his head. “Who does he think he is?”

“The host, perhaps?” David responded, smiling. He found it weirdly easier to stop dwelling on his romantic thoughts about Lee when the two were actually talking, falling naturally back into the rhythm of their familiar banter.

“Who cares about the host!” Lee exclaimed. “This is his first series, and already he’s getting cocky. I say we take him down a peg,” he continued, leaning forward conspiratorially.

“What do you suggest we do?” David asked, amused and willing to go along with anything that made Lee smile like that.

“I’ve no idea,” Lee admitted. “Come on, you’re the clever one, it’s your job to actually make the plans!” David smiled and opened his mouth to respond, but before he could Lee frowned. “Actually, you know what, no,” he said suddenly. “What’s wrong with you?” Lee asked, slightly aggressively.

“I… A wide range of things that only become more evident upon longer association?” David ventured hesitantly, taken aback.

“No, you’re not joking your way out of this one,” Lee stated firmly. “You’ve been distracted ever since I came out, and I want to know why.” Lee relented slightly when he saw the shock displayed on David’s face at his aggressive attitude. “I saw your reaction when Claudia said you couldn’t come out too,” Lee told him. “Is that it? Are you gay as well?”

“No,” David replied, flustered. “Well, I mean, yes, but also no, and that’s not.” David stopped himself, shaking his head and trying to reply in a more coherent manner. “I’m not gay, I’m bi, and anyway, that’s not what’s been distracting me all night,” he admitted, deciding in that split second to be brave. 

“What has been distracting you all night, then?” Lee asked, determined to get his answer even if it wasn’t the one he had anticipated.

“Do you want to come back to mine?” David offered, and then winced. “ _Fuck_ ,” he swore vehemently, “I didn’t mean it like that. I mean-”

“That’s a shame,” Lee said, talking over David’s helpless rambling. “If you had meant it like that, I’d’ve said yes,” he told David bluntly.

“Really?” David asked, scarcely daring to believe it.

“Yeah,” Lee confirmed. “Do you mean it ‘like that’ now?” he grinned, miming airquotes.

“Erm well, sort of no?” David replied, slightly questioningly. “I mean, a little bit, but… Fuck it Lee, I don’t want just one night with you,” he said firmly, suddenly fed up of settling. He had gone for casual with people he felt far more than casually about before, but not this time. “I want more than that; I’ve had a crush on you since we started doing this bloody show! If we’re doing this, then I don’t want casual,” David concluded. 

“God, David, neither do I!” Lee exclaimed. “I’ve fancied you since before we even _started_ this show! It’s half the reason I said yes! I’ve always been a sucker for guys who can make me laugh,” Lee joked, relaxing the situation slightly with a grin.

“And you went into comedy?” David replied incredulously. “An industry full of straight men trying to make you laugh? You fool,” David said fondly.

They grinned at each other for a moment, before the silence turned slightly awkward. 

“So, do you want to-” they began simultaneously.

“- get a meal some time?” Lee finished, at the same time as David asked-

“- come back to mine?”

“Oh, no, your plan, your plan,” they both said, again speaking over each other. They both chuckled briefly, before David indicated for Lee to speak first.

“I am definitely, 100% on board with going back to yours,” Lee explained. “I just thought, from what you said before, that you might want to take it a little slower?”

“Lee, we’ve both been interested for years, how slowly do you want to take this?” David teased, before becoming more serious. “I just wanted to be clear on what was happened,” he explained. “’Come back to mine’ is a fairly casual invitation, I didn’t want this to happen then wake up to find you gone the next morning.” David couldn’t quite believe how casually he was talking about sex with Lee - sex with Lee! - given quite how long he’d spent forbidding himself to fantasise about it. “Why don’t we compromise,” David suggested. “We could get take away, and take that back to mine?”

“That sounds perfect,” Lee smiled, knocking his knee against David’s under the table. 

“Yeah?” David doubled checked, grin spreading across his face.

“Yeah,” Lee confirmed. “Take me home.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this! There should be another fic in this 'verse up fairly soon.
> 
> Constructive criticism is always welcome :)
> 
> Edit: I've just realised that the bubblebath interaction I was referencing is in fact in an entirely different episode, also with Miranda, that I'm writing a fic about later in this 'verse. I had been trying to set these earlier fics in actual episodes, so if we could all pretend Miranda tells her ear/bath story in this episode, that would be wonderful...


End file.
